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I've never really known depression before,i have read all about the symptoms and realize i am depressed,but i can't deal very well with the feeling of loss,it really feels like i'm somewhere i can't find my way out of. I'm not entirely sure if it's just one thing or ten that has made this happen,alot has happened in the last few years,some good some bad,alot in-between,i've been trying to maybe figure out what is causing this. Whether it's my relationship or my job or the fact that i hate Fairfield or all of the above.....the one thing i do know is if i don't change things soon i'm going to explode and i don't know if i can come back from anything worse than what i'm going thru now.

UNSURE

So,it's been a long,long time since i posted on here...again.Anyway,i've been through alot the last couple of years.I got a job at Mastercuts at the mall it was ok for the first 6 mos. then we got a new manager and she's one of the best i ever had,i found my birth family after not knowing where they were for 40 years,2 brothers and a sister,she has 2 kids a son and a daughter,i'm still getting to know them,but i'm glad that i found them.Lately i've been feeling kinda out of it,like i'm lost and i don't know what's gonna happen in the future,and i really,REALLY miss my past,i know i can't relive it,but i miss my family....get-togethers,Xmas,Thanxgiving,it isn't the same anymore without them and i really miss my parents everyday,I'm a little scared about what to do next,i used to always be sure what i was gonna do next and so sure of myself and confident in my relationships,now i'm always unsure of things and whether or not if i really wanna just run away from it all and never look back.....